


There's some Whores in this house

by Duckie_Dono



Category: Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Andraste Save me, Cassandra Pentaghast's Disgusted Noises, F/F, F/M, Fluff and Crack, Gen, M/M, Multi, No really I'm so so sorry, Other, Pure Crack, Sera is a good bro, Song Lyrics, Sorry Not Sorry, The Iron Bull is Proud Papa, This Is Why We Can't Have Nice Things, tiktok made me do it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-18
Updated: 2020-09-18
Packaged: 2021-03-08 04:34:27
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 983
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26519839
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Duckie_Dono/pseuds/Duckie_Dono
Summary: So I know I should be working on my other things but Hear me out! I found a little Skit on TikTok by @firecrobraclaw and after I asked she said I could write a little one-shot for it. to my Normal readers, I promise I am working on my other stuff just I get distracted like super easy by the Shinny so yeah.
Relationships: Cole/Maryden Halewell, Female Lavellan/Cullen Rutherford, Lace Harding/Sera, the iron bull/dorian pavus
Comments: 2
Kudos: 7





	There's some Whores in this house

**Author's Note:**

> This Is PURE CRACK!!!! And I'm gonna Play with the TimeLine For the DLC because the Wedding Works better for me After the Events with the 'Elf who shall not be Named' because he ATE MY HEART AND I CAN NEVER FORGIVE IT! It's Short but yeah Hope you Like it.

In the Years that followed the Closing of the breach, The Inquisitor has worked hard to Build up the Reputation of the Inquisition. So it came as no surprise that when a new Threat appears she was right there in the middle of it and bringing everyone together once more to Stop the Qunari plot. Unfortunately by the end of it, She loses an arm but it was a sacrifice she was willing to accept if it meant everyone she loves was safe.

But that didn't hinder her Plan to Finally Make an honest man out of her Ex templar Cullen Rutherford. The man who Fought his fear of magic to help her, That Fought beside her, Laughed and Cried with her. That simply Told her when she lost her arm that he will just have to be her Sheild now that she can no longer hold her own.

The rest of the Party were all excited for the Wedding day, Sera had somehow managed to get Dorian to help her sing a song for the couple, Though how she managed to even Convene someone that it was a good idea for her to do it, Andraste only knows. but Lace thought her eagerness to help make the day amazing was adorable and Maryden was Recruited to help keep Cole away so he can't Spoil the Surprise.

Finally, the day comes and all the Guests are there, Vivienne, The Newly Made Divine stood with a small smile on her lips as she looked at the two people who Belong together. Varric Stood with Bull and the Chargers as the ceremony goes by, Already writing his next book about the two in his head. Cassandra and Tom stand with Liliana and Josephine and was Doing her best Not to let the tears she wanted to cry fall at the Romance of it all.

and then Just after they Exchange their Vows Dorian Starts to Play the Piano he Got Bull to push up a few hours earlier and everyone turns to look at him all with smiles Thinking how beautiful it sounds when Sera steps up beside him and opens her mouth.

" yeah, you Fucking with some WAP." She sings Soulfully as Dorian continues to play. " Bring a Bucket and a Mop for this WAP, Give me Everything you got for this Wap."

Lace stands with wide eyes and a red face and quickly turns to the others. Vivienne simply stood stoic with her Brow raised and Cassandra Practically Growling with her lips pulled up in a Sneer and her hand heading for her Sword at her hip. Sister Nightengale lifts her hand up to cover her face but the corner of her eyes gives away that she is trying and failing to hold in the smile. Josephine's mouth hands wide open as is most of the not inner Circle Inquisition members. 

"Now from the top, Make it Drop that's Some WAP. Now Get Bucket and a Mop that's some WAP." She Continues.

Lace turns her gaze to Maryden and cole, Cole looks ver confused and Maryden is as red as an apple, knowing she was going to have to explain everything to Cole after this. Varric and the CHargers are openly grinning Holing up mugs of ale and cheering.

"I'm talking WAP, WAP, WAP that's some wet ass pussy. Macaroni in a pot that's some WAP." she holds the last note as The Iron Bull Claps with hears in his eyes.

"Sera!" The Inquisitor yells Exasperated as Cullen stands with his fash Ashen in shock and Humiliation.

Sera Grins. " What, you think I'm just gonna let your Wedding day go by with no prank at all? Andraste's tits, it's like you don't even know me at all Inky!"

The Inquisitor sighs as The Iron Bull walks over and puts a hand on Sera's head. " I Want that Song for when Kadan and I Get married."

"If you even try it Amatus I will set you on fire and not put you out. " Dorian tells him with Narrowed eyes.

The Iron Bull Grins wide. " I'm okay with that, Remember my Safe Word is Katoh."

Cassandra crulls her lips up. " Urggh."

"I think it's sweet." Lace says walking over to Sera and pulling her down for a kiss.

"Welp, I'm Taking my Littles to have Naked Fun time!" Sera says with a giggle before leading the Dwarf Scout away.

The Iron Bull nods and lifts up The Tevintor Mage over his shoulder and smacks his ass. " Have a good Night Boss, Commander."

"W-what?" Cullen stutters out.

" Really Curly? Like you didn't suspect something when Sera of all People was good and didn't cause any kind of Mayhem leading up to today? Honestly, I've been waiting for the Show to drop and Maker it was better than I ever could have imagined." Varric says with a smile.

"It was Certainly very Unique," Josephine says after clearing her throat.

"I don't understand, What is a WAP?" Cole asks looking between Varric and Maryden.

"Fuck. Alright, kid, come with me and I will give you the talk. Maker, I thought for sure you knew this stuff." he says to Cole as they walk away.

"Well Darling, its Never Dull when I attend a Gathering with you." Vivienne finally says wit ha flat smile on her lips before she turns. " Do try to enjoy your night."

The Inquisitor pinched between her eyes. " Remind me again why I recruited her? and why do I keep her around?"

" I believe it's the entertainment factor, and you like her," Maryden says wit ha small smile. " Congratulations on your Marriage."

after a few moments, everyone walks away and Cullen Turns to her and smiles. " well If we can Handle her Kids will be a Breeze." he Chuckles out.

She Smiles. " Very true Ma Vhenan. Now let's go see if we can make one."


End file.
